What Am I Not Seeing?

Posted by margalit On September 2nd, 2026

I have a client who’s hired three COOs in four years.

Each one starts out strong, and she’s very excited. Six months later, she’s frustrated, and within a year, they’re gone.

From what I can see, she hires carefully. She interviews well.

But the ending stays the same.

I know this pattern. Not from the coaching chair. From my own business.

At Gotcha Covered, I kept hiring and firing assistants. I couldn’t figure out why they never seemed to do what I needed them to do.

I remember one time when we had a big account waiting on estimates and order updates. Days went by and I kept reminding my (now 3rd?) assistant what needed to get done and when it was due. She wasn’t getting it done.

I was convinced I’d made another bad hire.

Then, during one of my middle-of-the-night fear storms, it came to me: There was something I wasn’t seeing. Something I’d missed.

I wasn’t giving her clear direction upfront.

My not being specific enough about which updates the client was waiting for and which orders were open stymied her. She was trying to figure it out herself and getting bogged down, trying to get it right. I’d assumed she knew what I meant.

Maybe this wasn’t a hiring problem.
Maybe it was a me problem.

My mother had a saying:

If one person makes you angry- okay.
If two people make you angry – hmmm.
But if three people in one day trigger you, look in the mirror.

She wasn’t talking about business.

But she could have been.

When the same problem keeps showing up, it’s time to ask a different question.

It stops being: What’s wrong with them?
And becomes: What’s my part in this?

It’s not an easy question to ask because at first it feels like blame. It’s not. It’s ownership.

And ownership is where your power is.

You’re the one constant in every situation.

That means you’re also the one person who can change what happens next.

Once I saw my part, everything changed.

I became clearer about what I expected.
I stopped assuming people knew what I meant.
I checked for understanding instead of assuming it.

That assistant stayed with me until we sold the company.

She was extraordinary. With my proper, clear direction, she understood what she needed to do and completed every task and more. As she learned my ways and gained confidence, her self-reliance grew and my oversight diminished.

Today, whenever I notice the same pattern showing up again and again- with a client, on a team, or in my own life – I know it’s time to stop looking outward.