Is it just me, or have people forgotten how to listen?

It’s ironic, but we don’t listen to the ones we know the best because we think we already know what they’re going to say.

It’s as if we’re wearing AirPods when we talk to family, friends and colleagues. The closer a person is to us, the more assumptions we make before they even speak. Researchers refer to this as “closeness communication bias.”

You know when you’re with a skilled listener versus someone who’s just waiting for their turn to talk.

Good listeners:

  1. Resist the urge to give advice.
  2. Ask questions out of genuine curiosity, not to prove a point.
  3. Don’t interrupt, and
  4. Make people feel heard.

 

You can’t have real conversations if you don’t listen.

This hit home for me when I was 15. Mid-conversation, my cousin Robbie, the orthodontist, suddenly went quiet. “Margalit, you stopped listening to me. You were planning your next sentence, waiting for me to finish so you could start speaking. You can’t have real conversations if you don’t listen. You want to be different? Listen more.”

That moment changed everything for me – decades later, it became my superpower as an entrepreneur and coach. What started as an abrupt rebuke became the foundation of how I help leaders transform their professional and personal lives.

If you’re genuinely curious, you are far more likely to lead successfully. You build stronger teams, uncover solutions others miss, and create environments where people aren’t afraid to share bold ideas with you.

There’s a reason we were born with two ears and one mouth.

Ready to uplevel your questioning IQ? I’ve created “The Art of Asking Smarter Questions: A Quick Guide for Busy Leaders” – it’s helped hundreds of entrepreneurs transform tense situations into productive conversations and make decisions with confidence. Grab the guide here.
Until next time,

Margalit